Still Alive! More than alive actually -

Beside our front deck...

Some quiet time with Huddy...

Sam's 4th Birthday

God's writing on the wall for us...

OK Ok - thanks to all you faithful anonymous followers, I feel often like I am writing into an abyss - and there is no point to all of this nonsense carrying on over a computer - trying to carefully lay out what is going on in our lives while being vague enough to maintain our privacy as a family. I do hear that many people look at our blog, as I get reminded that I haven't put pictures up for ages. So for now I will continue on. I guess my issue is that it seems so impersonal, like you all have sat down with me for a cup of coffee while reading about our happenings, but I never got the sit down warm and cozy feeling of seeing you across the table with a twinkle in your eye, the sound of your voice and most importantly - hearing what your heart is saying.

I do miss my friends dearly. I had a good cry the other day. I was packing up a present for my dear friend Colleen, and it brought the heart wrenching ache of a void that cannot be filled by anyone else. Also, my previous next door neighbour just had a little baby girl, and I am not there to have her over to pamper her, or snuggle the little bundle on the front porch....

With all the heartache, I do know that we are exactly where God wants us to be right now. Often times that is difficult. I don't even know where to start. I think an incredable amount of learning for us happened with the whole process of coming out here. Walking by faith. My dear heart faith friends all reminded me at times to take my eyes off of the situation, and keep them on the author of my faith.... CS lewis said when his wife had passed something along the lines of not knowing if his faith could carry him until it was the last rope he was hanging on too.

It was very difficult making a decision to come out here, to put aside our jobs, walk away from the church whom we have come to love so dearly, put on pause the pleasures of enjoying a new baby in our family because we were busy packing, pass up Saturdays at the park with the family or over a banana pancake and nutella breakfast because I was at work trying to get enough hours so that we qualified for maternity/parental leave...as much as I love my job, and its a part of who I am - and now to give that up for a dream that has been long tucked away in my husbands heart - which God at this time seemed fit to bring to the surface and fufill.

Oh do we know the depth of what God has for us this year? Was it worth it I asked Adrian and myself - and how long would it take for us to decide on that?

It took 15 seconds as we pulled away from our first home van packed to the hilt away from but together where we've spent the last 5 years of our lives, conceiving, birthing and raising our three boys, laughing, crying with friends and family over our worn dinner table, each nick in the wall a momento of a cuddle on the floor over a bonked limb or marble gone a-wall.

It was worth it because God once again proved himself faithful to us. Not that our hope is in the quantity of our faith - thank goodness, but in the object in which we put our faith - the Lord Jesus. It is worth it everyday when Adrian comes home from class with a new understanding in his heart about the simplicity of christianity, and the revelation that is being birthed in his mind. The transformation that happens in our life when there is revelation from the creator when we actually slow down enough to see it and hear how loud he speaks.

It's worth it when I saw Jesse today entertain himself for minutes watching a slug cross the path, or Sam bring me a flower behind his back - or the time we have to color together and not care about how the house looks, or the walks in the rain, or being able just to lie in bed and listen to the buckets of rain pour down on the tin roof and have no where to go. Or to sit and feel Hudson's little duckling hair gently on my face, or feel his peace as he curls up to me first thing in the morning. Or the weekly coffee's Ade and I share when we can just talk about anything and for hours... or to even be able to have the opportunity to serve Adrian's family during the passing of his grandma last week.

For us at the beginning it took writing on the wall - and God was faithful.... because he knew what we needed to take the initative to turn our lives upside down -

Thank you to each of you who encouraged us when we were so discouraged. Thank you for your faith -

I'll try to be more faithful with posting. I do care, more than you know. Keep checking, and keep in touch...

Love Rebecca